My pubic hair makes me scream!

28 10 2008

In my attempt to practice deeper unconditional acceptance, there stands a barrier: pubic hair. Opsss. But I already get rid of it. Lega….

I’ve always been afraid of the dark. As a young child, I kept a small light on at night to cast away the shadows alongside my desk and bookshelf. At night, my stuffed animals transformed; their inviting eyes became devious and their smiles mocked me while I slept. Macam-macam kan, memori sejak kecil.

Things aren’t much different for me as an adult. I still am afraid of the dark. But I am much wiser now. I embrace uncertainty. It’s probably one of the most important ingredients in a purposeful life, as uncertainty opens you up to opportunities, growth and to the flow of the universe. Memang ramai daripada kita mudah berpuas hati dengan apa yang kita ada. Kadang-kala bagus juga.

But you have to remember, If we are certain and secure, then we are a living on a path we’ve already traveled; we’re prisoners of our past experiences. Alternatively, when we throw ourselves into the unknown, we allow for the evolution of the self.

Sebab tu ted teruskan juga perancangan parents untuk menjadi seorang cikgu cikgi. Tak juga minat sebenarnya sebab perancangan sebenar ted, ted nak jadi seorang pensyarah/ahli akademik dalam bidang komunikasi massa. Tapi takpe lah. The fact that you are even alive represents the nearly impossible triumph over unimaginable odds. Mesti ada sebab kenapa Tuhan tentukan jalan ni untuk ted. Ted pun never la nak jadi cikgu sampai ke tua. Apa kes? In these two years ted nak amek masters. 26 years old. A degree, two diploma.

Based on the countless miracles that we’ve experienced so far in life, I suppose it’s only logical to expect more to come in the future, kan? Kalau dulu, memang ted nak benda secepat mungkin sebab being 26 and yet to have nothing, rasa macam tak kena. But now, I learn to take my own pace. Sabar-sabarlah.

Tapi tak dinafikan ted juga merasa sedikit inferiority complex syndrome sebab acap kali jugak ted membandingkan diri ted dengan kawan-kawan yang lain. Arep dah sampai ke UK, Eleen, Elly and Ekeen dah dapat baby pun. Shawn akan mulakan tugas sebagai pensyarah tak lama lagi. Iza is doing well di Harian Metro. Su takde hal lah sebab nak bukak cafe lepas ni.

I think that is absolutely normal to compare yourself to others. Of course I’m not doing all bad but sometimes for a second – a second – I thought I was going to explode. Yelah, ted rasa has yet to accomplish anything and tell you what: it is so tiring to actually please your parents.

At any rate, you try it. It’s a lot harder than you’d think.

Ted Baker




3 responses

28 10 2008

i pun x capai apa2 lagi. my goal is nearly impossible at this age. i’m kertu oredi

29 10 2008

happiness doesn’t depend upon who you are or what you have,it depends solely upon what you think..

Cheer up Bro!!!

29 10 2008
Sue Anna Joe

it is so tiring to actually please your parents. true. but i think it was even more tiring them raising us. ahh the pressure

that photo of the ice cream is making me drool lah.

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